Conversion therapy, often referred to as reparative therapy, is a discredited practice that seeks to change an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Despite being denounced by major psychological and medical organizations, it still continues to be practiced in some regions. For those who have experienced this harmful and traumatic treatment, the path to healing can be long and challenging. In this article, we will discuss the journey of a conversion therapy survivor, the psychological effects of this practice, and the steps they can take toward reclaiming their true identity.
What is Conversion Therapy?
Conversion therapy involves a range of practices aimed at changing someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity, often through psychological, religious, or physical methods. It is based on the misconception that being LGBTQ+ is a disorder that can be “fixed.” These practices can include talk therapy, behavioral conditioning, or even more extreme forms of intervention, all intended to force individuals to abandon their natural sexual orientation or gender identity.
Despite overwhelming evidence from health professionals that conversion therapy is not only ineffective but also harmful, some groups continue to promote it, particularly within religious contexts. The emotional and psychological toll of undergoing conversion therapy is often profound and can have long-lasting consequences for those subjected to it.
The Impact of Conversion Therapy on Survivors
For a conversion therapy survivor, the effects of this practice can be devastating. The psychological and emotional trauma caused by conversion therapy can linger long after the therapy sessions have ended, affecting various aspects of a survivor’s life.
1. Emotional and Psychological Damage
One of the most common consequences of conversion therapy is deep emotional and psychological trauma. Survivors often experience intense feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness. The therapy typically reinforces the idea that their sexual orientation or gender identity is wrong or sinful, leading them to internalize these negative beliefs. Survivors may struggle with low self-esteem and a sense of failure for not being able to conform to the expectations placed upon them.
2. Mental Health Challenges
Mental health struggles are common among conversion therapy survivors. Many survivors experience anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result of the trauma they endured. These individuals often find it difficult to trust others, especially when it comes to intimate relationships, as the therapy may have instilled a fear of rejection or the belief that their true self is unworthy of love and acceptance.
The anxiety and depression experienced by survivors can be pervasive, affecting their daily lives, relationships, and overall well-being. The experience of coercion and manipulation can make it hard to develop healthy coping mechanisms or emotional resilience.
3. Strained Relationships
The damage caused by conversion therapy often extends to personal relationships. Survivors may find it difficult to form healthy, trusting relationships due to the trauma they endured. Many conversion therapy survivors struggle with feelings of isolation, as they fear being rejected for their true identity. This fear can lead to difficulty in developing friendships, romantic relationships, or even family connections.
Additionally, survivors may experience a sense of disconnection from the LGBTQ+ community, as they may have been made to feel ashamed or fearful of embracing their identity. Rebuilding these connections can be a significant part of the healing process.
Healing from Conversion Therapy Trauma
Although the journey to healing from conversion therapy is often difficult and complex, it is possible for survivors to reclaim their identities and live fulfilling lives. The key to recovery lies in finding the right support, working through the trauma, and rebuilding one’s self-worth and sense of identity.
1. Finding an Affirmative Therapist
One of the first steps for conversion therapy survivors is to find a therapist who is experienced in working with trauma survivors and, specifically, those who have been affected by conversion therapy. It is crucial that the therapist be affirming and supportive of the survivor’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Working with a professional who understands the specific harms of conversion therapy can help survivors process their feelings and experiences in a safe, nonjudgmental environment.
Therapy for conversion therapy survivors may include trauma-focused treatment, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which can help individuals address the negative beliefs and emotions that stem from their experiences. These therapies are designed to help survivors manage symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD, and ultimately learn to reframe their thoughts and embrace their authentic selves.
2. Addressing Shame and Self-Worth
A significant aspect of healing is addressing the shame and guilt that survivors often carry with them. Conversion therapy frequently uses shame-based tactics, leading survivors to believe they are flawed or sinful for being who they are. Rebuilding self-esteem and learning to accept one’s true identity is a critical part of recovery.
Working through feelings of shame and guilt is a gradual process that often involves challenging long-held beliefs about oneself and reframing them in a more compassionate, affirming light. Conversion therapy survivors may benefit from engaging in self-compassion exercises, mindfulness practices, and affirmations to rebuild their self-worth.
3. Building Support Networks
Healing from conversion therapy also involves creating or re-establishing connections with others. Many survivors find strength in joining LGBTQ+ support groups or connecting with others who have had similar experiences. These communities can provide validation, solidarity, and a sense of belonging.
Support from friends, family, or trusted individuals who accept and affirm the survivor’s identity is also essential in the healing process. Conversion therapy survivors should seek out people who offer love and understanding, free from judgment or shame.
4. Engaging in Advocacy and Activism
Many survivors of conversion therapy find healing through activism and advocacy. Sharing their stories and raising awareness about the harmful effects of conversion therapy can be a powerful way for individuals to reclaim their agency and empower others who are going through similar experiences.
Advocating for policy change and fighting to end the practice of conversion therapy can also help survivors reclaim their sense of purpose and contribute to creating a more accepting and supportive environment for LGBTQ+ individuals. Advocacy work often brings together like-minded individuals and can offer survivors a sense of purpose and belonging.
Conclusion: A Path to Healing and Empowerment
The journey of a conversion therapy survivor is often filled with pain and challenges, but it is also a journey toward healing, self-acceptance, and empowerment. Although conversion therapy is a traumatic experience, recovery is possible with the right support and therapeutic interventions. By addressing emotional scars, rebuilding self-esteem, and finding affirming support networks, survivors can heal and embrace their authentic selves.
If you or someone you know has experienced conversion therapy, it is important to remember that healing is possible. Therapy, support, and self-acceptance are all essential components of the recovery process. You deserve to live an authentic, fulfilling life free from shame and trauma.
To learn more and find compassionate support David A. Matheson.
